Never Assume

I consider myself a very confident, capable person.  Being able to manage my time and being able to help others has always been one of my strong suits.  Today however I feel like each direction I turn I am running into a brick wall.  Do you feel that way too?  I have been trying to figure out what is it that I need to do better or differently to get that edge back.

As I listen to the people around me  see EVERYONE for the most part is feeling stressed and overwhelmed.  And I had to just think about why is that?

As I have pondered this for a while the answers I am finding are resonating repeatedly.  Our society was once so easy to manage relationships and tasks.  Expectations of each other have now grown exponentially.  Let me explain.  Back in the day if you called my home phone and I didn’t answer, you called again until you reached me.  I didn’t come home and call you back because there was no answering machine or caller ID to tell me you even called.  I simply did the tasks I had for the day and handled whatever came next as it came.  I sang along with the radio in my car instead of talking on the phone and I completed shopping tasks without stressing over a situation or conversation that tracked me down by my phone.

Today you can text me, call me, leave me a voice mail, post on my wall or even see where I checked in last to know exactly what is going on with me and where I am.  If I  do not respond to your phone call or text message fast enough, you could be annoyed, am I ignoring you?

I fear in all this technology that was meant to make our lives easier we have only accomplished setting expectations higher for performance and contact.  Instead of sitting and watching a movie with the family, or going to the park or sitting and having a nice dinner, our technology is at our hip so each of those precious moments can be interrupted buy someone who thinks their issue at this moment is the most important thing, so important that I can interrupt you and whatever you are doing at the time.

The accountability of the Interloper is for the most part gone, as they no longer have to think for themselves our manage situations until a resolution can be found, but instead they can demand immediate gratification from someone else.

As I get older, now 49, I see that my time, my relationships are more precious today than ever.  I don’t typically answer my phone during these times because my belief is if I do that I am sending a message to the person I am with that you are not as important as this communication I am receiving.  What happened to letting your phone ring and go to voice mail?  What happened to having a dinner without a phone at your side, what happened to genuine sincere conversation with the person you are with, allowing them to be the most important person in your universe today?

And all of this communication seems to be the culprit behind so much miscommunication, its staggering.  So If I don’t communicate to you the way you “think” I should have communicated with you I’ve communicated something I didn’t even know I communicated?  Oye Ve’!  And what I didn’t know that I just communicated because I didn’t communicated has now upset you so now you will not communicate with me anymore because my lack of communication communicated that was how you should now behave?  WOAH NELLY!

Back up here.

Let me make something clear to everyone who knows me and is reading this today.  This might apply to many of you as well.

When I communicate with you I have no hidden message, the words I am saying are the words I mean.

When I do not communicate with you I am not sending you a coded message that, that means anything other than I am unavailable at this moment.

Sometimes I have nothing to say.

I promise not to create a story of what you are thinking unless you tell me that is what you are thinking, then it is not a story it is a fact.

If you have something bothering you please come and tell me I have lost my ability to read minds

That fact that I cannot read your mind does not mean I do not care

I promise I am not a part of a conspiracy to get you, in fact I am not aware of one.

I am only human and make mistakes, if you don’t hold mine against me I won’t hold yours against you.

In short, life is too short to sweat the stuff that we create in our own minds, I rather spend the time I have loving the life and the people around me and trying to fill my space with positive feelings and emotions.  I alone create the bubble around me to create my own happiness and invite you to create a bubble of your own to enjoy.

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