It’s NOT about YOU

notaboutme

I am amazed daily by the society I find myself living in. Everywhere you turn is yet another taker. The servants of the world have dwindled in numbers and been replaced by parasites plain and simple, does that seem harsh?

Give me this
Do that for me
I want this
I deserve that
I demand more
I require
I refuse to pay you for that
I’m due
Its my right

What ever happened to common courtesy and respect for your fellow man?
What ever happened to I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine even?
What ever happened to it is better to give than to receive?

I am TIRED OF IT AND I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE!
ENOUGH
YOU DO NOT DESERVE JACK!
Yes I am talking to YOU!

The sooner you get that sunk in to that thick head of yours the better off we will all be.
I do not deserve Jack either!

We are blessed to be walking this earth
Surrounded by the people who love us
The jobs that support us
The homes that protect us
And the families that surround us.

From this moment on each and every one of us needs to pause and be thankful for every single solitary person and situation we have n our lives.
Thank them for being a part of our AMAZING lives
Ask them what we can do for them. Better yet, I have an idea, get to know them well enough to know what would make them happy and just do something for no freaking reason at all but because we love them!

Wait Wait Wait…. There is a unique concept….. I might need to copyright this….. do unto others as you would have them do unto you! OHMYGAWD!
Instead of me me me me I should treat them like I want to be treated?
BRILLANT!

What shall we call this paradigm shift?

The Its Not About Me Project

Amazingly enough I found it really isn’t about me someone else thought about this long before I did, they even have a website to prove it http://notaboutme.com/

So here is the one simple rule, before you can ask anyone to do anything for you, you have to do something for someone else first.
Even better just do something for someone else regardless of what’s in it for you.
sounds like a plan…

Who is in?

The Grass is ALWAYS Greener!

greener-grass

Really what I want to talk about today is personal accountability, but had I titled this blog “Do it for yourself” most of you might have NEVER clicked through. In fact many of you are thinking right now I am just going to click out of this and find something else to read but DON’T! I urge you to hang in here and read this!

What is it with today’s society that NOONE wants to take personal accountability?

So you eat too much fatty food and you are overweight, but it is not your fault it is stress at work, the big bad fast food restaurants and television advertising, right?

You get fired from your job, it is that the boss is unreasonable, or surely the company is folding or maybe even someone had a vendetta against me, NOT that you were not doing your JOB?

The list goes on and on of stories as to why you were denied a loan, charged a late fee, your home was foreclosed on someone left your life. The energy we spend creating all of these stories and regurgitating them to anyone who will listen to get more buy in for our plight could power an entire city for an entire year.

What happened to I made my bed now I am going to have to sleep in it?

Pull yourself up by your boot straps?

If one will not work, neither let him eat?

We will reap what we sow?

When did it become everyone else’s fault if you failed? Then it hit me how this happened! We baby Boomers got out there with our kids and said, it’s ok, you’re ok. But we didn’t stop there we started saying, the teacher is wrong, the president is wrong the police are wrong. And we went on to say it is not your fault, it is simply who you are, it’s someone else’s short coming…. and on and on and on we went and on and on and on we continue to go. And now we started believing everything we were saying never realizing what we were telling our children was really selfish us talking to ourselves. Are you finding this hard to read? Do you know someone who needs to read this for themselves?

Before you knew it our kids had no respect for authority, they were bullying each other in school, we were fighting at sports venues with other parents. We stopped paying our bills and secured second and third mortgages on our homes for our “toys” and then blamed the mortgage industry when we couldn’t sell out home for the original sale price plus the $30,000 in debt we added to our loan. We got lazy and blamed our lack of income NOT on the fact that we were not out there doing our job every day but instead it is my company, my boss, my co-workers. We suddenly created this expectation that there was a silver platter someone needed to be feeding you from. REALLY?

Hello? Here is a quick wake up call, IF YOU DO NOT WORK HARD YOU WILL NOT MAKE LOTS OF MONEY PERIOD! And for the record it is ok to not work hard if you do not care about making lots of money, but it is NOT ok to whine about your success or lack thereof if you refuse to listen to any advice and get to work!

But no instead many of you choose to believe “The Grass is Greener on the Other Side”. HAHAHAHAHAH It is greener if I just walk away from my home instead of trying to make it work, it is greener if I change companies, it is greener if I change partners, it is greener if if if if if. NO IT IS NOT! And by the time you figure that out……..It is too late…. Sigh…… and I shake my head in disbelief as I watch the misinformed enter the cattle call line to mediocrity.

How can we as a society expect anything of anyone around us, when we do not expect anything of ourselves? How can a society of quitters expect everyone else to keep doing for them? How do we change this? Here are 5 simple steps to start.

Step 1: Repeat after me: “I insert name here will from today forward take accountability for my own words and actions” It is easy to take responsibility when things go well but true character comes from taking responsibility in things that also do not go well.

Step 2: Change your thinking, change your life. Stop being a victim, stop the why me dialog and instead empower yourself with positive words and thoughts every minute of every day and do NOT let the negatives seep in.

Step 3: Be honest with yourself, police yourself, are you really doing what you are supposed to be doing? When no one is around to see you working or dieting or exercising etc are you really doing it 100%? Ask yourself these questions, what am I doing to contribute to this problem or not doing, what can I do differently to solve this problem, how can I be accountable to my own results.

Step 4: ME ME ME ME only works if YOU are doing for YOU YOU YOU YOU, every time you feel like a victim and think you need someone else to make you a success, stop it and say, I MAKE MY OWN SUCCESS ONLY I AM RESPONSBILE FOR MY SUCCESS.

Step 5: Repeat steps 1-4 Everyday, multiple times a day

Personal accountability is almost non-existent in some places and people in today’s world and so desperately needed. Our personal relationships, business dynamics can wait no longer for society to shift, the time for change is NOW. Your journey begins here all you have to do is choose your path and own it.  Now share this with a friend or aquaintaince who needs it. <Smile>

There are many great blogs on personal accountability and goal setting here if you need more to read and help you get started. http://claritystreet.wordpress.com/

Saving Time So You Can Work Less Checklist

Success Checklist Clarity

Take a look at your tasks and schedules and then complete this simple checklist to ge

t a better grasp on what changes are needed for success in the Future.

 I have decided what I want in my life from now on for my:
Family life
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
Work Life
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
Personal Development
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
Interests and Hobbies
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________

Other  __________________________________________________________

I have evaluated my daily routine

Tasks that make the minutes fly by Tasks that leave me flat and tired
______________________________________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

______________________________________________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

_______________________________

I have made a commitment to change what I allow into my life
I have put thought into tasks and responsibilities I can (and should) delegate:

To family members:
Task # 1: _________________________________ To: __________________
Task # 2: _________________________________ To: __________________

To business resources available to me
Task # 1: _________________________________ To: __________________
Task # 2: _________________________________ To: __________________

 I am committed to:

  • A problem-solving, no “blaming-and-shaming” approach
  • Giving up the reins of control over tasks and responsibilities I delegate.  I will let my helpers make their own mistakes and enjoy their own richly-deserved successes
  • Positive praise and criticism
  •  I have analyzed my workdays and isolated those tasks and activities that I directly generate revenue with

____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________

 I have decided which tasks I should/will outsource:
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________
I have decided on a minimum number of hours, at set times, I must work daily:
From:  ___________________   To:  ___________________  ___ days per week

I have started to plan my schedule, using a system that is best for me

  •  If any tasks are unnecessary or could be delegated
  • How these tasks should be prioritized
  • I am committed to making sure I get my single most important, #1 priority task done within my daily work hours
  • I am committed to cleaning and clearing my work area at the end of the day
  • In addition to clearing my work space, I am making a list for tomorrow and I have…
  • Highlighted or numbered my your top one to three priorities
  • Made sure I have all the equipment I’ll need for tomorrow ready
  • All files and information I will need for tomorrow located and ready

Listed any phone calls I have to make or personal tasks that might alter my schedule
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
______________________________________________________

My new work schedule reflects:

  • What is essential – and what is not – in my business
  • Who to delegate or outsource my non-money-making tasks to
  • How to make sure things run smoothly, with minimal unexpected curveballs (by planning and preparing before the next work day)
  • How to be flexible – while sticking to a solid framework of rigid working hours
  • Other _________________________________________________

 I have re-evaluated my new work habits and schedule after six weeks and ascertained:
 What works for me:
______________________________________________
Why? _________________________________________
______________________________________________
Why? _________________________________________
______________________________________________
Why? _________________________________________
______________________________________________
Why? _________________________________________

 What didn’t work for me:
______________________________________________
Why? _________________________________________
______________________________________________
Why? _________________________________________
______________________________________________
Why? _________________________________________
 I am committed to:

  • Re-evaluating my schedule and time management skills on a regular basis
  • Re-evaluating my schedule on a financial basis too
  • I am looking for ways to save time so I can work less but make more (or the same) money

Making YOU better in 2013 Campaign

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I am starting the Making it better in 2013 Campaign.  I am doing this here in my office with my agents however, I invite you to join us and achieve your own successes for 2013.  Over the coming weeks you will be given ideas and suggestions to help you achieve your goals.  We look to you to comment on these goals and put in writing what you want to achieve so together we can help each other get to the level we want and need.

For many of us Health will be at the forefront be it, Exercise, Weight Loss, Quit Smoking, Eat Better etc

For others it might entail business goals, increased income, better systems and a solid business plan.

In addition there may be a few of you who are wanting to increase your personal life, with family time, living the life you desire, spending more time (more quality time) with the ones you love.

What ever it is or even if it is all and more, this year YOU are NOT alone!  We are going to do this together!

The first step is sharing this blog post and commenting on what YOU want for 2013!  Stating it out loud for the world to hear.  Do not be ashamed or concerned about this step.  The people who care about you are committed to your success, possibly get a “buddy” or Partner to also post.

Then each week lets talk about your successes and what we need to do better the next week,  Based on your goals we will talk honestly and openly with each other to raise ourselves up to achieve the success we want and need in 2013.

In addition to our online blog support we will also have meetings for those of you in St. Louis at our South County Location.

So are you ready to TACKLE 2013 with a plan for success?  Are you ready to have a group of people committed to help you get there?  Then SHARE this post (Comment with your goals, what you REALLY want to achieve in 2013) with what your Goal is for 2013, be as specific as possible, encourage the people you know to join in on this movement to a better more fulfilled, healthier, more successful life they dream of.  It is only one step away!

5 Ways to Succeed in the New Year

new year blog

The old saying goes, “If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got.”  That’s the definition of insanity.  So if you want to achieve a higher purpose , or a more fulfilling life, or greater peace and happiness, or greater success is business, better health whatever it may be you need a specific plan.  Throwing “wants” into the wind without thought and purpose will get you nowhere but frustrated and looking back a year from now on my where year went.

Here are 5 simple steps to get you where you need to be for success

1.  Clearly state what you want for the New Year, whatever your goal is for 2013, it can be small or big, just specifically say what it is.  For Example, I want to be healthier,  I want to be more peaceful, I want to travel more, I want to Make more money, WHATEVER it is just write it down,

In 2013 I will be __________________________________________________________________

OK GREAT congratulations you know what it is you are looking for and you wrote it down in a positive statement of fact

2. OK Next now how will that make you feel? You have to have some connection to achieving this goal and feeling is one of the most powerful ways to accomplish that, so close your eyes and imagine yourself healthier or more peaceful, making more money….  What does that feel like?  Play that thought in your mind for several minutes, then write down some of the key feelings that image invokes.  This will be important to relive this vision on a regular basis to keep you on task, at least once daily you should see your goal at work.

3.  Ok you know what it is you want, you know what it feels like to have achieved that goal it’s time to figure out how to do it.  The biggest excuses I hear for lack of achieving a goal is I just didn’t have the time, I got to busy, things came up.  IF you REALLY are serious about this goal you have to TAKE IT SERIOUSLY!  The best way to achieve this is schedule an appointment for yourself.  If health is one of your plans put on your schedule, meals, vitamins, walks, work outs, drinking bottles of water etc.  PUT IT ALL ON THE CALENDAR, yes it might look silly to you but these reminders in your busy day and your commitment to meet all of your appointments will be one of the greatest keys to your success.  Treat these calendar items as you would a real appointment, do not blow it off or ignore it because “it can be done later”  Your goal , desire, needs are no longer sitting on the back burner.

4.  Journal it, at the end of each day sit down and write in a journal, record a video or audio journal or where ever you are most comfortable but write how it felt to and about your successes, forgive your mistakes in the process, Reestablish #2 How does succeeding this goal make you feel and move on.
One failure, even one day of failures does not mean it is the end, it simply means tomorrow, you pick it back p and start all over again every day.

5.  Have some way to visually track your success, maybe it is #’s and you scratch the off as you lose weight, Maybe it is a countdown of days since you stopped this or days until you get to do that.  Add photos or quotes whatever you want or need to remind yourself of your successes.  Tell a trusted friend, family member or co-worker to e in ally and champion for your success.  DO NOT pick someone who will sabotage your victories.

I promise you if you follow these 5 simple steps each and every day you WILL have the success and reach the goals you desire, nothing just appears, it all takes work, but YOU have complete control over whether you succeed or not.  Here is too a Year filled of Success!

Taking Control PART THREE

Clarity Street

Part of taking Control back is knowing exactly what you want!  Superficially we say we want more money, more time, more things, but do you REALLY know, specifically,  what you want and need to be fulfilled?  I lost a dear friend a month ago and I look at how he grasped life and simply did what he wanted with no apologies and think, LIFE IS SHORT, what am I doing with the time I have?

So let’s ponder for  few minutes.  Do you ever feel stuck? Perhaps you don’t have the job you want, or the relationship, or the financial situation. You probably know what it is that you don’t want, but have you ever taken the time to figure out what it is that you do want?

Rather than answer with generalities like a job that “pays more” or “is closer to home” or “to find your soulmate” or…

View original post 767 more words

Never Assume

I consider myself a very confident, capable person.  Being able to manage my time and being able to help others has always been one of my strong suits.  Today however I feel like each direction I turn I am running into a brick wall.  Do you feel that way too?  I have been trying to figure out what is it that I need to do better or differently to get that edge back.

As I listen to the people around me  see EVERYONE for the most part is feeling stressed and overwhelmed.  And I had to just think about why is that?

As I have pondered this for a while the answers I am finding are resonating repeatedly.  Our society was once so easy to manage relationships and tasks.  Expectations of each other have now grown exponentially.  Let me explain.  Back in the day if you called my home phone and I didn’t answer, you called again until you reached me.  I didn’t come home and call you back because there was no answering machine or caller ID to tell me you even called.  I simply did the tasks I had for the day and handled whatever came next as it came.  I sang along with the radio in my car instead of talking on the phone and I completed shopping tasks without stressing over a situation or conversation that tracked me down by my phone.

Today you can text me, call me, leave me a voice mail, post on my wall or even see where I checked in last to know exactly what is going on with me and where I am.  If I  do not respond to your phone call or text message fast enough, you could be annoyed, am I ignoring you?

I fear in all this technology that was meant to make our lives easier we have only accomplished setting expectations higher for performance and contact.  Instead of sitting and watching a movie with the family, or going to the park or sitting and having a nice dinner, our technology is at our hip so each of those precious moments can be interrupted buy someone who thinks their issue at this moment is the most important thing, so important that I can interrupt you and whatever you are doing at the time.

The accountability of the Interloper is for the most part gone, as they no longer have to think for themselves our manage situations until a resolution can be found, but instead they can demand immediate gratification from someone else.

As I get older, now 49, I see that my time, my relationships are more precious today than ever.  I don’t typically answer my phone during these times because my belief is if I do that I am sending a message to the person I am with that you are not as important as this communication I am receiving.  What happened to letting your phone ring and go to voice mail?  What happened to having a dinner without a phone at your side, what happened to genuine sincere conversation with the person you are with, allowing them to be the most important person in your universe today?

And all of this communication seems to be the culprit behind so much miscommunication, its staggering.  So If I don’t communicate to you the way you “think” I should have communicated with you I’ve communicated something I didn’t even know I communicated?  Oye Ve’!  And what I didn’t know that I just communicated because I didn’t communicated has now upset you so now you will not communicate with me anymore because my lack of communication communicated that was how you should now behave?  WOAH NELLY!

Back up here.

Let me make something clear to everyone who knows me and is reading this today.  This might apply to many of you as well.

When I communicate with you I have no hidden message, the words I am saying are the words I mean.

When I do not communicate with you I am not sending you a coded message that, that means anything other than I am unavailable at this moment.

Sometimes I have nothing to say.

I promise not to create a story of what you are thinking unless you tell me that is what you are thinking, then it is not a story it is a fact.

If you have something bothering you please come and tell me I have lost my ability to read minds

That fact that I cannot read your mind does not mean I do not care

I promise I am not a part of a conspiracy to get you, in fact I am not aware of one.

I am only human and make mistakes, if you don’t hold mine against me I won’t hold yours against you.

In short, life is too short to sweat the stuff that we create in our own minds, I rather spend the time I have loving the life and the people around me and trying to fill my space with positive feelings and emotions.  I alone create the bubble around me to create my own happiness and invite you to create a bubble of your own to enjoy.

Reduce Stress and Be Happy

Anything taken too much is bad for the health. A little stress is actually good, as it could serve to help you function at your best. However, stress that seems a little too much could take a physical, as well as mental, toll to your body. Stress should be managed in order for depression or anxiety to be prevented.

So how should you do it then? The following are tips and advice to help manage stress.

Write it out, schedule it out.

It is best to write down everything that seems to be overwhelming. You will find a things-to-do-list much easier to manage than having errands all crumpled up in your head. Writing down the tasks, and putting a specific schedule and time to do them, helps anyone manage activities one chunk at a time. Crossing out an activity that has already been accomplished is very rewarding and could actually help you feel more relaxed when doing the other tasks at hand.

One at a time works.

Focus and put all your attention specifically on one task at one time.  It does not help to feel panicky about the other undone or to-do tasks. Thinking about them only adds unnecessary stress and could even hamper in doing the task you are attempting to accomplish at present.

 Relax and take it slow.

At least, try not to expend too much energy on activities that are currently not priorities. This is in order for your energy to be not easily expended on the tasks that are not that important, at least for now.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

You need not do everything all at once, and you need not do everything on your own. Ask for help, get help, or pay for help.  When there is a feeling of being overwhelmed that is cropping up, hire someone to mow the lawn or get a sitter for your children. The feeling of being pressed to finish something on time will somehow be eliminated if tasks are delegated. It takes a load off unnecessary worry and anxiety. Moreover, it is easier checking up on how things are, than worrying yourself sick doing everything on your own, all at once.

Give yourself a reward.

You deserve it. Acknowledging your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, is an effort that is necessary before getting on to the next tasks and activities. It reduces stress and could even make you happier in doing the next task.

 Give yourself a break.

You need it to be more productive. A ten to fifteen minute break during your work is necessary. Go visit a café nearby, take a quick brisk walk, or do anything to put your mind off work, at least for a while. This is necessary to refresh and recharge. Believe it or not, you can also stay in your work and sit with your eyes closed as you visualize a peaceful landscape or a relaxing scene. This frees the stress from your muscles and your mind.

 Relax and be cool.

Doing so makes you healthier, happier, and a lot more productive.